Struggling with Chronic Illness? 5 signs it might time to try therapy

People living with chronic illness are, out of necessity, some of the strongest people you will ever meet. It is a description that my clients often tell me that they dislike, because they wish they didn’t have to be strong all the time, or brave or any number of those inspirational phrases people throw around. That is not to say that I don’t think they are those things either, they absolutely are. But it is a default state with which they are entirely fed up to the back teeth of being in.

Many people living with chronic conditions go through years of pain, fatigue, surgeries, tests, medical gaslighting and trauma, issues in the workplace, relationship issues, fertility issues, and much more, all whilst being ‘strong’ and ‘brave’ and not getting any extra emotional support.

Whilst many people do have very supportive families and friends, I hear my clients tell me all the time how they do not want to ‘burden’ them by looking for emotional support, when they do so much for them already.

Coming to therapy is a great source of support as it is separate from your loved ones. It is a space entirely your own for that 50 minutes, where you can leave the feelings of guilt at being a burden at the door, because I’m here just to listen to you!

However, often people struggle to make the decision to reach out for support from a therapist because they don’t know if they are struggling ‘enough’ or feel sad ‘enough’ or stressed ‘enough’. I always remind clients, that everyone has a different tolerance level of ‘enough’. So, if you are considering seeking the support of a therapist but not sure if you are feeling ‘bad enough’, let me share with you 5 signs that it might be time to seek outside support.

1.      You are using unhealthy coping strategies to get by

You are noticing that you are engaging in less than healthy coping mechanisms more often. You are self-soothing by doing things like over-eating, drinking more alcohol than usual, spending beyond your means on online shopping, over-exercising to gain a sense of control back, or zoning out by mindlessly scrolling on your phone for hours, or binging tv shows for long periods of time.  (There is obviously a time and place for chilling out with a good tv show or a scroll on your phone, I’m not knocking that as a self-care method, however, if you find yourself doing this for extended periods of time, you might want to reassess).

2.      Your relationships are under strain

Perhaps you are struggling with anger and your other half is feeling the blunt of it. Maybe you are fed up of being the sick one in the family so you are withdrawing from family events. Perhaps you are not getting invited to gatherings by friends as you’ve cancelled so many times before and you are feeling left out and forgotten?

Relationships with others can be tricky to navigate at the best of times, let alone when you are coping with a chronic illness and you are feeling angry, fed up, less than and lonely. If you notice you are withdrawing or hitting out at those you love, it can be a sign that a bit of support from an outside space might be beneficial to you.

3.      You are struggling to set boundaries

You are struggling to communicate your needs to those around you, whether they be emotional or physical and that is adding to your stress or daily discomfort. Maybe you are stuck in people pleasing mode, and you are always putting others before you, even if it means you are more tired or in more pain.  Setting boundaries when you are struggling with a chronic condition is vitally important but can be a huge struggle for people as many of us grow up being told that it is the right thing to put others first, and so we struggle to set a boundary and put ourselves as a priority. If you are feeling that you really want to put yourself first, but you just don’t know how, or feel confident enough to do that, therapy is a great place to start to work on these issues.

4.      Your confidence is at an all-time low

 You just don’t feel like yourself anymore. The happy, free you has disappeared, replaced by someone ruled by insecurity and self-doubt.  Chronic Illness symptoms can leave you feeling vulnerable and unsafe, which has a huge impact on your confidence.

Your body can also be affected whether its due to things like weight gain or loss from symptoms or medications, fluid retention from steroids, changes from surgeries such as scarring or stomas or perhaps reduced mobility means you need the help of mobility aids. Changes to your body can leave you struggling with body image issues, which makes you feel less confident than before.

5.      Your self-care is non-existent

A drop in our self-esteem can also lead to a decline in our self-care. When we are feeling low, often we have thoughts around self-care like ‘what’s the point, I still feel rubbish’. Neglecting our self-care often comes from a place of not feeling worthy enough of that kindness to yourself. Maybe it’s time to stop and consider where you are putting yourself on your priority list?

Incorporating self-care into our daily lives is essential in maintaining our mental health. Talking to a therapist about why it’s been neglected, finding self-care that you actually enjoy (hint: I don’t mean you have to turn into a vegan gym bunny!), and setting goals to incorporate self-care into your daily life can have a such a positive impact on your well-being.

If you can relate to any of these signs, it might be worthwhile having a think about trying out therapy. I can appreciate that starting something new for most can be anxiety inducing and use up a lot of mental energy and that for those of you living with chronic conditions, that energy could be put to a lot of other uses. However, I do feel that the energy that you put into therapy will reap the rewards in the longer term, enabling you to feel more confident, show up how you would like in your relationships, set better boundaries, embrace beneficial self-care and learn positive coping mechanisms to get you through the tougher days.

I’m always here if you have any questions about what therapy could be like for you. Get in touch via the contact page or send me a DM on Instagram!

Kirsty x