So, hands up from the outset, and I’m always clear on this, I don’t have a chronic illness.
Often, I think people assume because I’ve chosen to specialise in working with people with chronic conditions that I automatically must have one myself. I get it, it’s a common misconception, because often you find therapists choose their specialities because it’s something they have personal experience with (eg, you might find a therapist in recovery from addiction becoming an addition specialist or a person who was adopted specialising in adoption counselling).
So why did I choose to specialise in working with chronic illness? A few reasons, actually.
The first, is that it happened quite organically. Back when I was in training, I was one of the few people who didn’t know where they would eventually like to specialise in. I could tell where I didn’t want to go, but not where I did!
However, once I began to see clients as part of my training, purely by coincidence, a large majority of the clients that came to me had health issues, and I absolutely loved the work we did together. I was often so awestruck by the strength of the clients having to deal with various issues along with a chronic illness. Their resilience was incredible. Even when they would tell me that they felt weak or had nothing left to give, there they were showing up week in, week out for themselves in therapy. And therapy isn’t easy (otherwise everyone would go!), but yet they came and did the work for themselves.
I also learned a lot from them (as I do with all clients I work with now) and I believe that they all taught me something about self-belief in the face of adversity and without a doubt about hard work. I’m also a firm believer in what is meant for you, won’t pass you by and that therapists get the clients that they need and vice versa. So, I really listened to how I was feeling when I worked with these clients and thought, yes, I could absolutely continue to work with and support clients with chronic conditions in the future.
Another reason is that I’ve seen close family members struggle with chronic conditions and chronic pain. I’ve seen first hand how much this can affect them emotionally. I’ve also seen how much they downplay any distress so as not to be a ‘burden’ on other family members and I know that pushing down those kind of feelings is never the best thing to do. They have to come out somewhere. So, I thought, why couldn’t I help others in this situation to have a space to ‘be a burden’ and to get out all the feelings, or even just sometimes to admit just how poorly they’ve been feeling, or how much pain they’ve actually been in.
Another factor at play in my choosing this area of work is my own health. Now I am in the fortunate position of not living with a chronic illness, but I do live with chronic back issues. Thankfully, it is mostly mild enough and the pain is manageable (or I’ve just gotten used to a baseline level of pain). 6 out of 7 days a week I do have some level of pain and discomfort. It’s at best annoying, and at worst very painful and upsetting. Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely recognise that my pain is nowhere near, not anyway comparable to the pain that my clients go through on a daily basis. However, I do think it has helped me with a deepened empathy towards my clients and has allowed me to step into their shoes much easier as they take me along on their journey.
And now? I choose to stay working in this area because I love it. No two days are ever the same. Even if I have clients with the same illness, there is not one thing similar in either person, it is so unique, just like each person I am lucky enough to work with.
I am continuously in awe of my clients, at their strength, resilience and bravery.
The relationships I can build with them, through experience of working in this area and through personal and mutual respect is wonderful. I’m there to support them through their tough times and laugh with them in the funny bits. I’m honest with them when I say to them things like “you’ve been dealt a sh*t hand” (psa: I’m probably not the therapist for you if you are averse to swearing!) and there for them when they feel its time to start challenging themselves and are looking for someone to call them out if they use their illness as an excuse to dodge a tricky question!
I’ll meet them, or you wherever you are at, and go wherever you want to go.
Reach out, you won’t regret investing time and precious energy in you.
Kirsty x
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